Christmas Itch
by maxandmo
Summary: My Christmas o/s for the Countdown to Christmas- A Lyrical Melody collaboration. The only requirement was a lemon...so...yeah, Merry Christmas!


_**This was written for the Countdown to Christmas-A Lyrical Melody collaboration. Thanks to Breath-of-Twilight for inviting me to write with such an amazing group of authors! Also, thanks to twilly and obsmama for pre-reading and Sarah for betaing.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns this.**_

"Edwardo! What's up, man?"

I gave Mike one of those complicated manly handshake things as I took my regular seat at the bar. "Hey, Mike. How's it going?"

"You lost or something? What's with breaking your 'I only come to the bar on Friday rule?' It's Thursday, dude. Now I'm going to be stuck listening to Katie obsess over your ass all night tomorrow. Fuck, I have no idea what's so special about you, but that chick's got it bad," Mike shook his head in confusion.

"Thanks a lot, dickhead. Who the hell are you trying to be? Santa? Nice hat." I rolled my eyes at his horrific Santa hat. "Anyway, I only hooked up with her that one time. She's been cool ever since."

"Edward, that was only two weeks ago!" he chastised.

"Honestly, she's hot and all, but once was enough. There's just no spark, no excitement. You know what I mean? Plus, hot or not, she's really kind of dumb."

"Um, no. Just no. You sound like you suddenly grew a vagina. She's hot. End. Of. Story. She wants to continue fucking you, but there's no spark, and she's stupid. Who cares?"

I started to zone out, as I often did when Mike started talking, and instead focused my attention on a very cute brunette across the bar.

"Are you even listening to me?" he whined.

"Not really. Who's that?" I asked discretely motioning across the bar. "And why don't I know her?"

The girl was wearing a baseball hat, and what really got me was the way she was focused on the Seahawks game. We were in Bear country, yet she was going ape shit over the Seattle fucking Seahawks. I had to respect that even though the Bears could kick the snot out of them.

"That's Bella, Mike answered with a smirk. "Hey, Bella!" he shouted. "This is Edward. He thinks the Seahawks suck ass."

"What the fuck?" I slapped Mike's arm, but not before Bella slapped mine. "What the fuck?" I asked again. No one seemed to be answering me.

"I bleed blue and green. I think _you_ suck ass."

"Only if you ask nicely," I responded.

She stomped away and resumed her seat across the bar. I couldn't stop staring, and she couldn't stop glaring.

The chick hit me and then insulted me, and instead of wanting to beg for forgiveness, I wanted to piss her off even more. She was a feisty one.

As luck would have it the Bears scored a touchdown, and I had an excuse to act like an asshole. "Woo hoo! Nice pass!" I yelled in her direction.

She flipped me the bird, and it made my dick twitch. I smirked at her and took a swig of my beer. She did the same and resumed watching the game.

She was so different than what I was used to. I typically dated blondes and most of the time they had no idea what a first down was. The girls I hung out with spent tons of time on their appearance, yet this Bella girl was wearing a hat and had on little make-up, if any.

I guess dated was a strong word. I hadn't really dated since 'she who shall not be named' decided that she no longer wished to marry me. I instead focused my energy on banging hot chicks. Time made me realize that it would've been stupid to marry what's her face, and there definitely wasn't a shortage of hot chicks in Chicago.

While I was spending time in my own head, the Bears managed to get a field goal. I cheered rather loudly and was met with an eye roll and her middle finger once again.

"In your dreams, sweetheart," I said loudly.

_When had I become that guy? You know, the one who ends his sentences with 'that's what she said' and other shitty phrases such as responding to getting flipped the middle finger._

"You wish," she yelled.

"I do," I responded.

The more banter we had, the more I developed a full on boner...at the bar...sitting by myself.

I managed to meet Mike's eyes from down the bar and held up my beer to let him know that I needed another. I held up two fingers and pointed to Bella hoping he'd realize what to do. He wasn't the brightest, but he'd been a bartender since college.

Mike handed me both beers, and I quirked my eyebrow at him. He wasn't as good as I thought.

"Genius, did you really think I needed two beers at a time?"

"You said two. One, two," he emphasized as he pointed to the bottles.

I let out a deep breath and decided to man up and give her the beer myself. "You look thirsty," I said as I set the beer on the bar in front of Bella. "Plus, I'm sure you'll want to drink away your sorrows when my team continues to wipe their asses with your team."

"First of all, it's only the second quarter, and secondly I don't drink this bitter shit." Before I knew what was happening, she took the beer and shoved it into my chest. It sort of knocked the wind out of me, as I tried to suck in a deep breath.

I grabbed a hold of her wrist and pulled it from my chest. I was a little bit pissed and a lot turned on. The feel of her skin set me on fire, and I couldn't seem to let go. "Well, maybe you should start." I forced her arm back toward her body and didn't stop until it was touching her own chest. She gasped when the cold bottle touched her thin t-shirt. I raised the bottle to her lips letting my forearms graze her breast, and tipped the bottle so she could take a drink. Her mouth opened to accommodate the liquid, and she took what I had to give her. Our eyes remained locked on each other's, and when I lowered the bottle, I swiped at the droplets that were lingering on her bottom lip.

I stuck my finger in my mouth and sucked the beer off. Her face was flushed, and I noticed that her nipples were hard; her shirt damp where the beer bottle had been.

She followed my eyes to her shirt and then glared at me. "This is my lucky fucking shirt. I will kill you if they lose because you tainted it with disgusting Chicago beer."

"They're going to lose because they suck, and the Bears are awesome. And if you insult my brother again by calling his beer shit, I will refuse to sleep with you." The girl just called 'Emmett's McCarty Red Ale' disgusting, and I wanted to fuck her even more.

She pursed her lips, and I was on high alert waiting for her response. "Honey, I assure you, if we go to bed, there will be no sleeping," she purred into my ear, putting her hand on my chest.

With that, she focused her attention on the game but her hand did not leave my body. It was nearly halftime, and the Seahawks kicked a field goal to get three points on the board. By her reaction, you would have thought they had won the goddamn Super Bowl.

"Calm down sweetheart, it's only a field goal."

She grasped my t-shirt and pulled me toward her so that we were basically nose-to-nose. "Did you know that seventy-two percent of the time that they score right before halftime, they come back to win the game?"

I couldn't even focus on her ridiculous statistics since all I could see were her plump lips right in front of me. I reached around and grabbed the hair that was sticking out of her hat, pushing her toward my eager mouth.

Our lips crashed together knocking her hat to the ground. I couldn't even revel in the fuck-awesome feel of her warm and welcoming mouth because all of a sudden my pleasure turned into pain.

I immediately pulled away from her, "Did you just fucking bite me?" I asked while swiping my finger across my lip.

"Did you really just knock my hat to the ground?" she snarked back.

Even the cheerfully, cheesy Christmas halftime show wasn't enough to quell my desire.

I reached down and picked up her beloved hat, placing it on her head backwards. She reached up and wiped a droplet of blood off of my lip. She placed her finger in her mouth and started sucking on it. I let out a moan and hoped that no one was paying attention to our inappropriate bar antics.

I placed my hands on her shoulders moving her backwards. I didn't stop until she was up against the wall in the back corner. She looked up at me, and I started licking and nipping up the side of her neck. Her hands moved to my hair, and what started off as gentle tugging, became painful pulling.

I was suddenly very thankful for genetics; being bald would've sucked at that moment. Though I was confident if she continued to abuse my hair, I would end up that way in the near future.

I grabbed her hips, lifting her up so that her legs wrapped around my body. Thankful that I'd spent some time helping Emmett out, I carried her the short distance into the storage room.

Locking the door with one hand, while holding her up with the other, was not as easy in real life as it was in the smutty romance books that my ex had always talked about. We lost our balance and fell back onto the crated boxes of beer.

I got the brunt of the fall and knew I'd be sore as hell the next day. Before I could obsess over my battered body, she straddled my lap and peppered kisses up and down my neck. Moving to my earlobe, she whispered, "I want you so fucking bad."

I sighed. I fucking sighed. Maybe Mike was right, I felt like a giant pussy. Her words were a giant turn-on, but not as much as the desire I felt when she bit my lobe so hard I saw stars.

"Ow, fuck!" Not knowing or caring if I still had an earlobe, I grasped the bottom of her t-shirt and pulled it up and over her head. Her bra came next, and I was met with a set of perfectly pert breasts. Her nipples were begging for attention, so I grasped one of her tits and brought my mouth down to the other one.

I swirled my tongue around it getting it nice and wet before clamping down lightly. She moaned, which gave me the go ahead to bite a little harder while pinching the nipple in my other hand.

"You need to fuck me. Now," she demanded.

Bella got off of my lap and slid her leggings off of her body. Standing naked in front of me, she motioned for me to do the same.

I stood up and quickly took off my jeans and Bears t-shirt, never taking my eyes off of her beautiful body. She licked her lips in anticipation, staring at my rock-hard cock.

We came together like magnets, our lips crashing together in perfect harmony. I knew when this was over my lip was going to be a bloody, cracked mess, yet I didn't dare stop.

I pushed her onto the crate and spread her knees apart, opening her glistening, bare pussy to me. Getting on my knees, I licked up and down her slit with fervor. Her breathing accelerated, and I wanted her to cum in my mouth so fucking bad. I circled her clit, biting at it while slipping two fingers inside of her.

She gasped, and I felt her nails digging into my back. "Oh," she moaned, "so good."

"That's right, baby. You taste so fucking good," I told her while my mouth continued its assault on her tight little pussy.

Her hands found their way into my hair and my first instinct was to cringe a little. This Bella chick was like super strong. Lucky for my hair, she pulled me up, and my mouth stopped devouring her.

"I need you inside me. NOW!" she shouted.

I wasn't in the position to argue so I quickly grabbed a condom out of my pants pocket and slipped it over my cock.

I lined myself up at her entrance and planned on sliding in nice and slow. My plans changed when her legs wrapped around me and forced me inside in one quick, deep thrust.

It felt fucking fantastic. "God, Bella. You're so tight," I moaned.

"Listen to me," she commanded. "I want it fast, and I want it hard."

Since she had already been close to cumming when I was going down on her, I figured she had to be right on the verge. I rammed into her; the only things keeping her from falling off of the crate were my hands on her thighs.

I was thrusting frantically and about to lose my shit, but there was no way I could let myself finish before she did. Her hands were caressing my back, and it felt soothing, which was the complete opposite of what pounding into her was doing to me.

I loved the contrast, but I loved it even more when the caresses turned into light scratches, which then turned into her moaning and calling out my name while griping my back so hard I was afraid of what it might look like later. She was definitely close.

Rubbing her clit was what it took to set her off, and two thrusts later, I was cumming so hard I could barely see straight.

Once the euphoria of my orgasm wore off, I could feel throbbing in my lip, back, and earlobe. The girl had seriously fucked my shit up. Being inside of her was amazing, and I couldn't imagine not being with her again.

I lifted my head up to look at her and was met with a smack right across the face. "That's for making me miss the third quarter."

My mouth was agape, and I couldn't believe I gave her an orgasm, yet she was yelling at me for making her miss part of the game. I pulled out of her and within seconds she was getting dressed. I was speechless as I stared at her fast and fluid movements.

"What the fuck?" I questioned as I watched her clean herself up with my Bears shirt.

"The Bears are total pussies," she snarked.

She strutted out of the storage room leaving me with a soiled Bears shirt, that I was never washing again, and a battered body.

I got dressed and went directly to the men's room. After taking a piss, I looked in the mirror and shook my head. I looked like someone beat the living shit out of me. I needed a beer.

Settling back onto the barstool, I was met with Mike's concerned eyes. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Dude, I think I'm in love. She's one crazy bitch but it's never been so hot."

He handed me a beer, and I looked up to see that the Bears were getting their asses kicked with little time left on the clock.

"Here, you've got blood on your ear," he said giving me a wet towel, "and your shirt has something on it."

He reached toward me for a closer inspection of my shirt, and I batted his hand away. There was no way he was touching Bella's vag.

"I've got scratches on my back, wanted me so bad she held on for dear life, bro. I've got it like that," I smirked.

"Yeah, okay."

The game ended, and Bella walked up to me. "I'm pretty superstitious if you haven't noticed. You're my new good luck charm. I expect you to be here for every Seahawks game, or next time I won't be so easy on you."

"Yes, ma'am," I said as I saluted her.

Mike let out a loud guffaw, "Dude, she kicked your ass."

"And I loved every second of it. I'm getting out of here. Tell Katie that I'm a taken man."

"No need, my friend. You can tell her yourself."

I turned around and saw Katie talking to Bella. "Fuck."

'Um, yeah, I forgot to tell you that Katie is Bella's sister. So, I guess you do 'got it like that'."

"Shit. You could've told me, you prick!"

"You wanted excitement. In my opinion, this is pretty damn exciting," he chuckled.

I gave him the finger, and he walked off with a smile.

My life was about to get way too fucking exciting, and I wasn't sure what to expect. Only time would tell, but that's a story for another day.

**_This was written with the song 'Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry' as a prompt. Did you like it?_**


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